Was putting it off cause i haven't been in the mood, sometimes just too lazy..
Finally got to it though, here it is:
18th July 2009:
Happy 1st ever anniversary, Love!
Forever and ever right?
You promised....
And so did I..
=)
[...and InsyaAllah we won't break it..]
Truth is, i didn't expect to have come this far with you.
There had been so many times i asked myself not-so-nice questions..
Why should i stay?
Do i really wanna be with you and only you?
What's the point of being tied down to one so early?
Do you deserve to be with me?
And I, you?
Sometimes, our quarrels, arguments and fights get a tad to far.
Dare i say most of the time.
Cruel words and actions exchanged, bringing out the worst of us.
How i regret all the times i'll take hits at your ego for the purpose of hurt, pushed your arm or hugs away, refused to look at you..
And the times you would raise your voice with hate, left me and walked ahead of me just because you didn't wanna deal with me anymore..
These are the things i remembered most when i'm alone, thinking of you.
It doesn't help to fill the loneliness one bit..
All they do is make me feel extra guilty, the way i hurt you, my total selfishness..
You know what?
I really don't know where i'm going with this post..
I feel worse by the minute, and making you feel the same way..
I think what i really wanna convey to you is..
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you making up for all the mistakes i did, the hurt i've caused..
Loving you purely and truly..
Not the puppy-type, teenage adoration kind..
The real kind, where i'll be there whether you need me or not, being there through all your problems and work it out together, for better or worse, in sickness or health..
Before i start rattling off more wedding vows, i better stop here, hehe..
The point is..
I love you, my Zulkifli Bin Rosli, and i'd do anything just to be in love with you for the rest of our lives..
xoxo
Shai
~I LoVe You Endlessly~
2:58 AM
2:58 AM